So the other day I went to Kroger, it's a grocery store in Texas, and as I'm browsing the spice aisle for some cumin this short, fat Russian lady comes up and is admiring Eli. He is asleep in his carseat being a doll. She's oohing and aahing at him and not paying much attention to me, so I turn back around and continue my search. She asks me how old he is and I tell her, "7 weeks." She tells me how cute and precious he is. She then proceeds to warn me, while still staring at Eli and in her creepy Russian accent, "be very careful, people steal babies. Especially precious babies." My search for the cumin comes to a screeching halt, my main goal now is to keep this Russian lady from waddling off with my son. So I put my hands back on the cart and hover over the carseat. She then starts touching and tickling his feet. I seriously thought she was going to ask to hold him and I was prepared to just start running. I smile nervously at her and check that the carseat is buckled and tightened. At that point, Eli wakes up and starts crying. She smiled and walked away, so i assumed she was done with him.....or so I thought. I think I'm in the clear so I continue looking for that damn cumin, when I see her lurking a few feet away. She ended up going up and down and circling the aisle two or three times, all the while peeking up at Eli and mumbling how precious he was. I finally found the stupid cumin, threw it in the cart, and sprinted to the checkout counter. Moral of the story, don't have cute babies. I can't blame her, how can you not love this sweet boy?
